Loss

I just found out a little while ago that my step-grandpa has died. Although this is not the first time I've seen a family member die, it is the first time for many years. I'm not exactly sure what I'm feeling at the moment. My usual attitude towards death is along the lines of, "It happens every day. We can't get too caught up." It's cold, but also true. People die every day. Lots of them. And today, it was someone I know.

Although I actually didn't know him too well myself, I know to some of the other members of my family he was more than important. He took in my mom at a time when she had no idea if there was any hope left for her, and when she didn't exactly "live up" to the task of being a caring and competent parent, he practically raised my sister. And it is she who practically raised me. So, indirectly, I probably owe him for who I am.

Which makes it even worse where he died. He died in long-term, which is basically like a retirement home, except that they don't hide the fact that it's just a bunch of death beds. He used to be a good member of society until he entered there, two years ago. By the end, I don't think he knew who I was. I never want to have to go through that. Old age may be one of the few things I still fear.

I will probably be getting a call from my sister soon. While my mood is somber, she will be a wreck. I'm going to have to try to help her in a way that I'm not used to, but I'll try my best.